My textbook for Anatomy and Physiology cost $222.50, the lab book was $139. I ended up ordering the expensive one online for $171. Do the asswipe publishers understand that students are typically broke? Consequently, I'm now looking to become impregnated so I can receive money for school from the government. If anyone is interested in immediately expediting my request, please note me. Your help is greatly needed and appreciated. Thank you in advance.

So the class cost $384.52. To make me feel like I got my money's worth (yeah right), Edison accidentally overbooked the course, so my class isn't in a lab with models. Instead, we've been shoved into a toilet downstairs, robbed of models and hands on lab learning. We'll be sharing a lab on rotation with another class.

Here's more evidence that Edison is run by brainiacs-- In the overpriced bookstore, they had a cooler filled with ice and free bottles of water, placed next to a sign saying no food or drink in the store. It hurt my brain in the worst way. I thought to myself, is this some kind of test? If I take a bottle, will the Dean appear and expel me from school? Will a boulder come rolling out and crush me? Will the world implode? Instead of testing my theories, I took a picture.

[link]

Much to my delight, I'll be watching a video in class of a German doctor who removes the skin of a cadaver and hangs it like a wetsuit for display. For some reason, it just figures it's a German doctor.

Being that I'm penniless after purchasing my books and class, I've thought up a way to get food without paying for it. No, I will not be rummaging through the dumpster with urine-scented bums. Instead, I'm going fishing on PlentyofFish.com (very similar to hobo dumpster diving). I plan to use this dating site to meet men, have them buy dinner, bolt, and never talk to them again. Downside is I might meet a guy like the German doctor, who will most likely wear my skin like a wetsuit. I figure the odds of that happening are slim, though. I mean, it's not Craigslist.